While I am no authority on marriage (considering I’ve only been that way for 31 years which pales in comparison to my parents who just celebrated their 63rd anniversary) and while I will not attempt to write a theological treatise on the subject, there is something I need to say.
God has stirred my heart with something recently in this area. It seems that in much of the marriage counseling I’ve done through the years and in situations where a few close friends of mine have been unfaithful to their marriage covenant, there is a common thread.
In almost every situation, the friendship unraveled long before the marriage did.
I’ll never forget when I first heard this truism: “good friends make great lovers!.”
It’s true. While we know that the foundation of any good Christian marriage has to be a relationship with God, we also know that our relationship was first built on a friendship. And the day-to-day health of the marriage depends to a large extent on maintaining that friendship.
I was talking with a group of men recently about this subject and I said to them: “sorry guys but none of you are so ruggedly handsome and sexy that women are going to just walk up to you and ask to have sex with you!”
Never have I seen a man fail morally this way. But, it’s scary how many times I’ve seen a man make a female friend at a time when his friendship with his wife was suffering and that friendship became the door to infidelity.
Here’s a gut check question: “Is your spouse your very best friend?” It’s a simple question and if the answer is not yes you get a sinking feeling even as you read it. But, I beg you to pay attention.
I close with the story that cemented this truth deep into my heart. Recently, I went to Corpus Christi to spend time with my parents. As my dad and i were driving over to a lawnmower shop to buy a new primer bulb for his weed eater he shared that someone had recently said that they felt very sorry for him because he could no longer drive which keeps him from being able to get out and go where he pleases. He looked at me and said: “here’s how I look at it: for 60 years I worked hard every day and now, I don’t have to work and now I get to spend every day with my best friend, your mom.”
